Sniff My Pits!

We’ve all been there…

Two hours in a suit or gown, the stage lights radiating down with the heat of a thousand suns as you tear through a Presto movement. The lateral blast of the air conditioning creates a frigid ring at your collar, the wet blooming outward with every passing measure. Ticklish beads of sweat scurry down from the under-arm toward the culvert at the belt line.

As you stand for the final bow, you consider the options for greeting friends and fans in the lobby. The old elbows-planted-at-the-waist hug? A quick change of shirt? Did you bring an extra shirt? 

This inevitable performer’s scenario has taken me through pretty much every deodorant and antiperspirant available to humanity. From the voodoo pastes (looking at you, Lush) to the Nordic crystals to the chemical slurry at the pharmacy. I’ve tried them all…even that pore solder that is sold to brides-to-be that comes with all the terrifying warnings of death, despair and disease on the back.

The thing is, you can stuff your skin full of aluminum and sweat a little less, but I don’t need a double-blind, peer-reviewed study to infer that this approach may cause my armpits to go all RoboCop.

The good news is I’ve found a product that doesn’t lance your pores with metal chips, smells fantastic and minimizes packaging waste. I give you: Life Stinks Deodorant

The little glass tube you see is the oil, which goes on first, is light and won’t stain your clothes, I promise. You rub a tiny amount on your fingertips and apply. Then comes the powder, which you can buy in a small plastic dispenser (I use it for travel), or the larger metal container with the screen on top. The benefit of the latter is that it is refillable, cutting WAY down on waste. Just fill the dispenser from the bag, shake a bit on your palm and pat under your arms. It takes exactly one go-around with this process to get used to the old-fashioned powder method and forget all about roll-ons.

So now the benefits:

1. This stuff smells fantastic. I love the cedar version, but the lavender is great too.
2. I stay drier longer. 
3. Even though I will eventually sweat, especially under those stage lights, I never get to that funky odor place because of the combo of the oil and powder.
4. My shirts are lasting longer because there isn’t a white paste build-up from antiperspirant.
5. I can give you a real hug, elbows unencumbered, after the show.
6. It’s a natural product, and won’t plug your pores with aluminum.

This is an awfully long post about deodorant, but it took me decades to find my holy grail unicorn of underarm delights. I hope it helps you, fellow performer, and that all your future shows are funky for the right reasons.

Old Man and the C cheats on his Dr. Beat

It's been a little while since I dropped some music gear recommendations on you, but trust me on this...this one is well worth the wait!

I remember being ecstatic when metronome apps first started surfacing on iOS, and then quickly realizing that I needed to play everything ppppp with it if I stood any chance of actually hearing the click. Even some of the more robust metronomes (in terms of custom subdivisions) like Metronomics are essentially useless in an ensemble setting because they are about as audible as:

So the options are, 1) cart around a Dr. Beat DB-90 and its requisite power adapter or 2) plug the iPhone into an existing stereo system or speaker and be constantly bending over or running across the room to adjust settings and turn it on/off. Both options are lousy.

Then it hit me: Bluetooth speaker, son!

I had ignored these when they were first introduced because of their dubious audio quality, but for a metronome, this strident mono sound would be perfect. After much deliberation, I decided on the TekNmotion Air Capsule because it pumps out good volume and (full aesthetic disclosure), it is housed in sexy brushed aluminum. It's small enough to fit in my messenger bag, isn't tethered by any cabling (BT connection to my iPhone) and runs for days on an internal rechargeable battery. This thing is changing my musical life, for real, and it doubles as a hands-free device in the car. While it isn't loud enough for a string quartet going full-tilt fffff, it is more than enough for most sonic scenarios. If you want even more decibels, some of these speakers can be daisy-chained (TekNmotion cannot).

Now, your metronome app of choice is ready for business and your phone can remain on the stand with you. Time to go get groovy...

Old Man and the C cheats on his Dr. Beat

It's been a little while since I dropped some music gear recommendations on you, but trust me on this...this one is well worth the wait!

I remember being ecstatic when metronome apps first started surfacing on iOS, and then quickly realizing that I needed to play everything ppppp with it if I stood any chance of actually hearing the click. Even some of the more robust metronomes (in terms of custom subdivisions) like Metronomics are essentially useless in an ensemble setting because they are about as audible as:

So the options are, 1) cart around a Dr. Beat DB-90 and its requisite power adapter or 2) plug the iPhone into an existing stereo system or speaker and be constantly bending over or running across the room to adjust settings and turn it on/off. Both options are lousy.

Then it hit me: Bluetooth speaker, son!

I had ignored these when they were first introduced because of their dubious audio quality, but for a metronome, this strident mono sound would be perfect. After much deliberation, I decided on the TekNmotion Air Capsule because it pumps out good volume and (full aesthetic disclosure), it is housed in sexy brushed aluminum. It's small enough to fit in my messenger bag, isn't tethered by any cabling (BT connection to my iPhone) and runs for days on an internal rechargeable battery. This thing is changing my musical life, for real, and it doubles as a hands-free device in the car. While it isn't loud enough for a string quartet going full-tilt fffff, it is more than enough for most sonic scenarios. If you want even more decibels, some of these speakers can be daisy-chained (TekNmotion cannot).

Now, your metronome app of choice is ready for business and your phone can remain on the stand with you. Time to go get groovy...

Nice (W)rig(ley)

This is Wrigley. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wrigley is the Woody Allen of the dog world: charming but anxiety-ridden. He will, however, gladly sit and listen (one ear up - one ear down) to the dulcet tones of disembodied Berio and Carter viola parts as I dissect them. Until such time (i.e. every 6-7 minutes) as he needs some attention, at which point he nudges my bow-arm elbow with conviction and an impossible-to-ignore grin. Wrigley also occassionaly likes to rehearse his favorite scenes from Logan's Run, suddenly tearing across the room with little to no warning.

 

Tethered to the AC-adapter as it is, I've found the Boss DB-90 metronome to be a resilient piece of equipment during these escapades, when the aforementioned cord attempts to thwart our hero. 

 

A trip to the local, independent guitar shop produced a solution that not only answered the dog issue, but also solved the irritating problem of metronome placement. On the stand, it blocks the music. On the desk or table, it is often not percussive enough (for Berio, anyway) and cumbersome to adjust.

 

After consulting with the Neil Peart fanatic behind the counter, I made my exit with two items: a Tama MC66 Universal Clamp and a Tama Threaded L-Rod. 

 

The universal clamp fits perfectly on a Manhasset (or pretty much any stand, for that matter) and the threaded l-rod winds snugly into the top of the DB-90. Rigged like so, the metronome sits at a 45-degree angle just below the lip of the stand:

 

 

Upsides: clear viewing angle, maximum audibility, easy access to metronome controls, uninhibited page turns, minimum Wrigley-interference

 

Downsides: weight, bulkiness

 

This one may only be for my fellow gear-heads out there, but it's a winner. Back to practicing...

 

Nice (W)rig(ley)

This is Wrigley. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wrigley is the Woody Allen of the dog world: charming but anxiety-ridden. He will, however, gladly sit and listen (one ear up - one ear down) to the dulcet tones of disembodied Berio and Carter viola parts as I dissect them. Until such time (i.e. every 6-7 minutes) as he needs some attention, at which point he nudges my bow-arm elbow with conviction and an impossible-to-ignore grin. Wrigley also occassionaly likes to rehearse his favorite scenes from Logan's Run, suddenly tearing across the room with little to no warning.

 

Tethered to the AC-adapter as it is, I've found the Boss DB-90 metronome to be a resilient piece of equipment during these escapades, when the aforementioned cord attempts to thwart our hero. 

 

A trip to the local, independent guitar shop produced a solution that not only answered the dog issue, but also solved the irritating problem of metronome placement. On the stand, it blocks the music. On the desk or table, it is often not percussive enough (for Berio, anyway) and cumbersome to adjust.

 

After consulting with the Neil Peart fanatic behind the counter, I made my exit with two items: a Tama MC66 Universal Clamp and a Tama Threaded L-Rod. 

 

The universal clamp fits perfectly on a Manhasset (or pretty much any stand, for that matter) and the threaded l-rod winds snugly into the top of the DB-90. Rigged like so, the metronome sits at a 45-degree angle just below the lip of the stand:

 

 

Upsides: clear viewing angle, maximum audibility, easy access to metronome controls, uninhibited page turns, minimum Wrigley-interference

 

Downsides: weight, bulkiness

 

This one may only be for my fellow gear-heads out there, but it's a winner. Back to practicing...